So yeah, this is way unecessary, and you’re probably like “who cares?” Actually, “Who cares?” can be applied to any blog post. I’m just gonna put it down here, so it’s clear that this has been something I’ve thought way too much about.

Like…. when I was in Kindergarten, I received my first experience of flirting. His name was Robert and he was a year older than I was. I don’t know why I came out of K - Grade 12 feeling like the one year difference was HUGE. I didn’t care about meeting the younger kids, but the older ones, I found them all intimidating and naturally awesome.

But then! I go to college and there’s people my age to people who are 20 years older. At this point, we’re all on the same level. What I mean is, most people have reached the height of their level of maturity in their early 20’s and I think those that are older are no longer any more special because of their age. In college, everyone’s dumbness and smartness shows. Age doesn’t mean shit anymore.

I guess it makes sense that I thought a one year difference was pretty big back then, since those are the years of spontaneous growth spurts and boys’ voices changing pretty much over night.  The level of education definitely had clearly defined lines drawn between the grades. After finishing all that, we’re all the same now. I think everyone is equal after that point. We are allowed to do all the grown up stuff that we weren’t allowed to before. Dude, when I got my G1 for official ID… BOOZE and no fucking hassles at all. SHIT, guys! I’m an adult! And now that I see older people as equals, I can think, “That dude is fucking stupid.” Sure we may get wiser with age, but some people really don’t and it feels good knowing that I am no longer in awe of anyone for being older than I am. Some of them are really fucking dumb, and immature, and dickish, and they haven’t actually grown the fuck up by my standards.

So this point will probably seem a like a bit of a turn from what I seemed to be getting at… I’ve always felt like I’m only attracted guys who are older than I am. If they are a second younger than I am, I will be like, “Ewwwwww…” This was a policy I had in place since that first hint of flirtation in Kindergarten which immediately flipped on my boy-crazy switch. So now that I’m older, and guys that are up to 6 years younger than I am are technically adults as seen in the eyes of our society, I have been thinking about revising that policy I had held for the past 20 years. So here it is!

I will consider liking a younger man, if he is at least 28 years old.

“Oh, but you’re not even 28 yet!!!” you exclaim. That’s right. I am not interested in any of these 20 year olds right now. It’s still yucky even though they look older than I look. Maybe when I’m 29, I won’t be as grossed out. There’s this one boy who seemed a little too disappointed when I told him he was too young. To him, I say: Hey, I said try again when you’re 25. That’s not 28. That’s special treatment. Cheer up, dude. By the time he reaches 25, he should probably have found some other girl by then anyway. So come on.

So there! Yes, I had to share. Yes, I find this embarrassing and way more than I need to tell anyone about. I’m just honest and sentimental, so here’s some shit I wrote that I might want to reread when I’m older (and probably laugh at), and it’s open to the public, because I’m old enough to not have as many fucks and/or shits to give about what people think of me now.

Lalalalalaaaaa, FARTS. *flips the bird*